Blog Archives for tag final arrangements
Dying Is So Expensive!
So true. Today’s very average funeral in the Midwest region is about $7,000 to $10,000, not including burial space and a marker. So how can we decrease the expenses?
It’s Only “Stuff!”
I’m not worried about my personal “stuff.” I don’t really have that much, plus my kids get along fine anyway….do you know anyone who has said this? Do you know any family members who have ended up arguing, or not speaking to each other after dividing “stuff?”
Studies show that personal property after the death of a loved one is an issue that impacts individuals regardless of their financial worth, heritage or cultural background. Emotions and family relationships impact decision making. Inheritance decisions can enhance or destroy family continuity.
I Don’t Know What To Do……
I recently helped a sweet lady who didn’t even know who to call, in terms of a funeral home, when her husband died. It makes my heart sad for those who have lost someone they love, and to make matters worse, have no idea what steps to take. Even though she had made funeral arrangements for family members in the past, at 80 + year of age, she didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t a matter of confusion or dementia, it wasn’t a matter of having no one to help her, she just plain didn’t know what to do. Her husband was in his 80’s and suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. Yet she, nor family members, nor anyone around her suggested at any point that pre-arrangements be made.
How many kids do you have? Do the kids ever disagree? Is one a dominant personality? Are they equal in financial assets? Do they have spouses that get along well with your family?
These are some of the questions to answer when pre-planning your final arrangements. By making your pre-plans, one important gift you are giving your kids is family harmony. My dad used to say we shouldn’t “borrow trouble.” However, when no pre-plans are in place – that is exactly what we are doing – borrowing trouble, especially if our children are not “equal” financially and personality-wise.
“Bless your little pointed head….” my high school Algebra teacher, Mrs. Benedict, said this to me often. I always struggled with math and didn’t like numbers much. But when I began to help clients with their final arrangements – I could easily do the math.
The calls came one day apart…
The first young man said that his mother had died and they had no money and they didn’t know who to call, because they had no money for a funeral. The next day when I answered the phone, another young man was calling because his mother-in-law was expected to die within the next 24 hours. His question was the same – they had no money, did I know a funeral home that would work for free or take payments.
A few years ago, after my dad had suffered the ups and downs of leukemia for about two years, mom and I were in his hospital room while he was sleeping. She looked at me and said “I think you better go buy a casket.” I asked her where she wanted me to go, called my husband and we went to a local funeral home, sat down with a funeral director, were handed a catalog of caskets and asked to choose one. I looked at a few choices, pointed to one and said “that one.” She said “ok” and closed her file folder.