Blog Archives for tag elder care
We Need Someone to Help Us…
I just want to be a daughter/son. I want to visit with my mom/dad and not have to worry about paperwork and bill paying. I want to take my mom shopping and to dinner, and not have to worry about medical decisions. I’m too emotional to make a good decision. My brother/sister doesn’t agree with what I think mom/dad needs, but he/she doesn’t live here and see him/her every day like I do!
We all have choices to make. Some are easy. Some are hard. Some make a difference in our life, some have little significance. As we age, we have choices about how we want to spend our time, where we want to spend it, and how we want to pay for it. More than 70% of us will not be able to live out our years independently in our own homes. We will need various levels of assistance. Some of us will require minimal assistance or life modifications, some of us will require total assistance and some of us will fall somewhere in between. None of us like to discuss getting older and losing our independence. None of us like to spend (or more accurately “set aside”) money for end of life matters. But think about those choices.
Could This Be Someone You Love?
Here’s the story…..he lived comfortably. He had a reasonable pension. His parents died and left him a modest inheritance. His home was paid for. His health began to decline. He began to be confused about his bills. He began to use his overdraft protection routinely. He began to mismanage his medications. He began to be paranoid that others wanted to harm him. He had no family close, so he began to depend on others to some degree. A neighbor began to take advantage of that dependence. He signed mortgages on his property to a neighbor. His bills began to go unpaid and start piling up. He habitually called 911 for emergency transport. He began to have panic attacks.
Someday….I Will Make a Plan!
As an adult child of aging parents, or as a caregiver of someone who is aging – it is easy to overlook signs that an aging person may need the help of professionals. When a caregiver sees the person frequently, changes are not as noticeable as they are to someone who is not well acquainted with the person.
Additionally, if the aging person is a parent or a loved one, it is often easy to be in denial of the changes that may be visible to others.
Karen, who was a single mom with two children, moved in with her parents when her father had a stroke to help her mother take care of him. Her mother was also disabled. Needing money to pay for a home care service, Karen helped her mother do a reverse mortgage on the home, which gave the needed funds. If communication had been open and Karen’s brother had known the need and been involved with his parents care, he would not have reacted so negatively when he eventually found out about the reverse mortgage.